Thursday, February 27, 2003


Just to 'splain why I haven't been updating in a while, and why I probably won't be doing so for a while longer, last Saturday night (while throwing a Tropical Party complete with suitable decorations and island drinks) I fell down our basement stairs and broke my left leg in three places. So no, that isn't really my x-ray in the picture - if it were, there'd be two fractures at the top and bottom of the fibula instead of just the one in the middle (oh, and the fibula is the little one. Aren't you glad you know that now?)

Anyway, that's what happened, and that's why those half-dozen of you or so who care haven't heard me spout off lately here, (or at MetaFilter,, or your own sites, or on #mefi) for a while. Since sliding down the stairs on my butt to get to the computer isn't my favorite thing in the world to do either, I probably won't be around with great regularity for a while, either.

Oh, and it propably hurt just about as bad as anything I can ever remember happening in my entire life, and almost as bad as anything I can possibly imagine happening either. I distinctly remember one of the EMTs who came in the ambulance telling me "it's probably a good thing that you've had a bit to drink, because otherwise it would hurt even more when we do THIS!" He was right, it hurt.

On the other hand, I get to get carry around a 12-inch steel rod in my leg for the rest of my life and piss people off at metal detectors, which is pretty cool.

Thursday, February 13, 2003

"You think once they have Benjamin Franklin's body spinning in his grave fast enough, they'll be able to power an internal combustion engine with it?"

Just a little reminder that Get Your War On is still being (intermittently) published. You're welcome.

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

Please stay tuned for this important announcement from the Department of Homeland Security

I now see that anti-aircraft missiles have been deployed in Washington. This action, of course, comes in response to the threat of "possible attacks involving chemical, biological or radiological weapons, including ricin, cyanide, nerve agents or 'dirty bombs' that could spread radioactive debris over a wide area."

So, it's a damn good thing we've got anti-aircraft missiles to blow these things out of the sky.

Friday, February 07, 2003

And now it's time for some more -
Unsolicited Advice
so, listen up, young'uns

If you have to have your cat put down, try to do so at a time in the year such that, when said cat's ashes are returned to you in a little metal box, the ground outside isn't frozen solid and covered with snow.

I wrote the above bit about a week ago, but hadn't had the nerve to post it until now. Meanwhile, D.C. is still upstairs in her little metal box, having the last laugh, because now there's no way she'll be going into the ground until Spring. This is actually a good thing, because she always enjoyed getting her own way.

And, speaking of dead cats, my mother (having, of course, heard all about D.C. and seen the pictures and read the blog entry) sent me a card today and included two pictures of me from the '70s holding the original D.C. Yes, I lifted my own cat's name from the cat we had when I was a kid. It wasn't plagiarism, it was an hommage. Anyway, against my own much better judgment, something deep inside of me decided to go ahead and scan these photos and post them on the intarweb.

So, unless you really want to see some incredible 70's-style geekage (holding a cat, of course) do yourself a favor and do not scroll down the page.

Remember, I warned you.

Okay, here you go:

Wow. Now I know why I got picked on so much back then. Oh lord, here's the other one:

Well, okay. I guess I always was a cat person after all.

Yes, and a geek, too.

I know you were thinking it, but you didn't have to say it out loud like that.

Errata - 2/9/03
After speaking with my mother today, I find I must correct one small misstatement - these pictures are, in fact, of me and the second Abyssinian cat we had, who was, of course, named Ali Baba. D.C. was earlier, probably in the late '60s. I can only offer in my defense the facts that: (1) it was either around 25 or around 35 years ago, and in either case that's a looong time, and (2) all Abyssinian cats look the same anyway.

Thursday, February 06, 2003

Things have been entirely too downbeat around here lately, so we'll attempt to lighten things up with a few rounds of the ever-popular (but sadly predictable):

Actual Search Queries that Have Led People to This Site:

David Alan Coe racist
"david alan coe racist music"
(just in case the first one didn't work, no doubt)

Anasazi kokopelli name
kokopelli wallpaper
kokopelli bathroom theme
(which probably includes wallpaper)

tootsie roll recipies
max headroom sound
max headroom episode download
picture of a mushroom that is labeled
mushroom cut out pictures
the name of mushroom on latin
(as opposed to in latin)

fungus jokes
dialysis and pulltabs
aluminum pull tabs charity
miss gothic massachusetts
(over half a dozen separate searches for this one - I am the M.G.M. king)

One very specific one:

"chocolate hockey pucks" -NHL -recipe
(by which our seeker means he wants to know about chocolate hockey pucks, but not that NHL kind, and certainly not how to make them)

And a few of the more disturbing variety:

pedophilic pic (eeeyew!)
thyroid jokes (the real knee-slappers)
duck foot insert
rotten steak
smoking effect kidney before after
exhibitionism parties in DC (wha...)

And finally, two that probably would be better names for this site after all:

fungus house identification pillow
pictures of food for the elderly

Poetry. I'd change the name in a minute to either of those, were it not for the multitudes who have already linked to me under the name "Insert Better Name Here". Oh, well.

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